So, the last time we spoke I had written a column for the fourth of July. It’s now March 17th, which, if I were still writing Things of Import, would probably have been a topic. Unfortunately, I am a student columnist no longer, and I can only imagine what my thoughts would look like in print. They would probably go something like this:
o1. Perform some tastefully subtle wordplay about green beer and the American Way (For example, “On March 17th, our colors aren’t just red, white, and blue. They’re red, white, blue, and green.”)
o2. Tell the story about the days when I still believed in leprechauns, during which my mother had to covertly dye my bathwater green and sprinkle confetti around as proof of “sprite” activity.
03. Discuss the Irish immigration to America and the Potato Famine. Remark that, in this economy, the Irish aren’t the only ones who need not apply.
o4. Sum up with cautious optimism about the temporary re-invigoration of the booze business, and make one last, less subtly tasteful remark about “going green.”
Keep checking back for more insights into our modern, cosmopolitan society.
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