You know what?

I just have to say it.
Time magazine ripped off my Cannes joke from last summer in their little festival overview feature a couple issues ago.
“YES WE CANNES” WAS MINE, TIME! It was MINE!

Hypothetical “Things of Import”: St. Patrick’s Day

So, the last time we spoke I had written a column for the fourth of July. It’s now March 17th, which, if I were still writing Things of Import, would probably have been a topic. Unfortunately, I am a student columnist no longer, and I can only imagine what my thoughts would look like in print. They would probably go something like this:

o1. Perform some tastefully subtle wordplay about green beer and the American Way (For example, “On March 17th, our colors aren’t just red, white, and blue. They’re red, white, blue, and green.”)

o2. Tell the story about the days when I still believed in leprechauns, during which my mother had to covertly dye my bathwater green and sprinkle confetti around as proof of “sprite” activity.

03. Discuss the Irish immigration to America and the Potato Famine. Remark that, in this economy, the Irish aren’t the only ones who need not apply.

o4. Sum up with cautious optimism about the temporary re-invigoration of the booze business, and make one last, less subtly tasteful remark about “going green.”

Keep checking back for more insights into our modern, cosmopolitan society.

“Things of Import” VIII: The 1812 Overture

Were you hip to the fact that “The 1812 Overture” is actually Russian? And about Napoleon? But, for some reason, played at the Boston Pops Concert every Fourth of July? Because before this week, I was not.

In yesterday’s column (read it online here), I wrote about everything aforementioned plus Craig Ferguson. Tonight he’s hosting the Boston Pops Concert, which will feature my new favorite overture, a piece American in neither subject matter nor origin (though perhaps in spirit, because it features a lot of cannon fire).

Anyway, I was thrilled to see that my column had gotten reposted on the Craig Ferguson livejournal community. If you ask me, celebrating a Scottish guy is a pretty sweet way to celebrate America.

Warped Tour 2008: Gil Mantera’s Party Dream

Not pictured: Gil Mantera. I didn’t think I would see a gold lamé cape at the Warped Tour. Apparently I thought wrong. Gil Mantera and  bandmate Ultimate Donny (shown here in metallic finery) sure know how to put on a show. I ended up liking their set more than any of the others I saw, primarily because there was stripping involved, but their music’s okay, too. You should check out our interview; I think they were just jacking me around most of the time, but at least they were jacking me around with style.

Warped Tour 2008: Brave Citizens

I’m always skeptical of “hometown hero” acts.  They might be cool, they might be lame, their set list usually consists of psychedelic jams, Eighties covers, and one original song. But nobody really thinks about any of that, because the guys are nice and they play the bar down the street and, just like everyone else in Berkeley, they really like Zachary’s Pizza. This was actually my main concern while interviewing Brave Citizens-how could I be objective if I knew they appreciated a good slice of California deep dish?

Then I saw their set on the Kevin Says Stage (tangent: the stage appellation seemed a little incongruous to me, but then I realized the tour founder, Kevin Lyman, named it after himself. He refers to it as the “Kevin Says Stage” in interviews, too, which seems a little bit… Milton Acevedo-y. Then again, what else would he call it? The “I Say Stage”? Linguistic complexities, man). Anyway, I watched them play and I realized we were a long way from Blake’s on Telegraph. Obviously, the songs were all original and no one was drunk. Less obviously, they were actually good.

Surprisingly, they were also nice. I might transcribe and post the interview text eventually, but for now, visit their myspace and check them out on July 13th at (where else?) Blake’s on Telegraph.

“Things of Import” VI: The Guru

It should come as no surprise that I was personally offended by “The Love Guru.” It could have been the premise, it could have been the fact that the premise was stolen from another movie, it could have been the fact that the premise was stolen from another movie by Mike Myers… Regardless, I wrote about the problems I had with the film in my column this week. I hope you’ll give it a read.

Oddly, I got an emailed press release from Rajan Zed after it was published (and another, and another after that).

I also got to publish the best line from my 2005 summer journal in Thumb Wars, so check that out, too.

Berkeley World Music Festival Bonanza

I wasn’t really sure what to expect from the Berkeley World Music Festival. I guess I thought it would be a street fair filled with Enya enthusiasts and tie-dye vendors. I was wrong*, and covering it was probably the coolest thing I’ve done this year (besides, of course, spending seven hours watching less than half of Berlin Alexanderplatz).

I wrote a review of the event, which you can read here. There’s even an online audio slideshow that I narrated, which you can access underneath the “Share Article” link in the comment box.

“Things of Import” this week addresses the festival too, kind of, but it’s mostly about the people I met and conversations I had while hanging around on Telegraph. I really liked how it turned out (and so far it’s my mom’s favorite), so go check it out online.

*About the Enya enthusiasts. There were some, I’m sure, but they weren’t an overwhelming majority. And because this is Berkeley, there were still about eighteen guys selling stuff in tie-dye.

“Things of Import” IV: Berlin Alexanderplatz

I drove many miles and countless hours to get a library copy of Fassbinder’s Berlin Alexanderplatz. I had been planning on buying it, but then I realized it was priced at about 115 USD, so, uh, plans changed.

Anyway, check out my column about Biberkopf’s epic adventure. Also, you’ll get to see a really, really big photo of my face and torso. Again.

“Things of Import” III: Cannes

A list of titles this week’s column could have had (but, luckily, did not):

01. Cannes Games
02. Cannes You Feel the Love Tonight?
03. Yes, We Cannes!
04. No, We Cannes’t!

Pick it up at a distribution point or check it out online.

Additionally, I courteously propose that Sarah Jessica Parker is not Gloria Steinem in the “Hate It” section of this week’s “Thumb Wars.” You can read it in the printed edition or have a look online (scrolldown).

Second “Things of Import” out

Hello, hello.

The second installment of “Things of Import” is available for pickup or online perusal. Topics addressed in this week’s issue include zombies, existentialism, and how I actually felt about writing my thesis. Read it here. Also included is a really large photo of my face. Please enjoy responsibly.